social media and teenagers – We Thrive Online

We laugh ~

It’s just a picture. A video.

No, it’s a real person!

Memes, GIFs. Late night and other tv. Podcasts, whatever else. You know what I’m talking about. Filters add a little makeup, and we forget.

I feel the shift, but also this is really hard to parent! When people are like avatars, it numbs empathy, right?

I had no idea the influence of humor would be such an opposite pole in the journey of raising teenagers.

It’s not everything, all the time. But have you looked at a kids social media feed lately?

They’re laughing at the strangest things, honestly. I don’t appreciate all of it, and I think that’s expected between generations. But there’s a side we can’t ignore. Ethical issues are thwarted with twisted humor, and it’s shaping minds.

Some of the memes going around are really messed up, I don’t know how else to say it. When Kermit the Frog commits suicide, comics condone rape, and racism is funny, — we really need to figure this out!

Comedy hazes discernment, and it awakens my mama heart.

Friends, this is our kids’ culture, every one of theirs. This is what they gather around. It’s how they’re growing up. Phone or no phone, with or without social media. These influences lead their conversations, and worldview.

I can’t stay on point, can you? Doesn’t matter. Trends are a distraction.

Today’s parents, all of us, have challenges with social media. And it’s impossible to monitor everything, all the time.

Hope depends on the heart ~ We can harness that.

So if my kids (our kids) learn one thing, let it be this. Treat others kindly, ‘how you want to be treated’ — off screens, and on screens. It doesn’t matter the format. We all agree, realizing the heart and the value of every single person is good. It’s Right.

The Golden Rule anchors us.

In a culture that’s less thoughtful, we have to decidedly lead against the grain. Media fog rolls in, so be conscious and ready. This isn’t a game of dodgeball. Would you say it’s more like capture the flag?

Digital parenting takes action. It means stepping forward. Being aware. It means pausing and responding. It sometimes means speaking up, when we don’t want to. Having standards. Finding teachable moments, seeking them out. Loving others. Valuing people. The Golden Rule is mindfully taught.

And when, not if, one of us fails — be the one who’s kind. Speak the truth, in love. Because we are all learning here.

Screens empower us! Use them for good!

Together We Thrive~

“I sent my 10-year old daughter to a sleepover, and they watched YouTube videos the entire time!” A friend shared her frustration. ‘Aren’t little girls supposed to be telling stories and painting nails?’

We sat together, four moms,in a rare conversation…each with a similar story, an emotional thread to contribute. I don’t have a daughter, but it’s the same with boys.

Screen freedom at social gatherings is a much bigger deal than anyone likes to make it. Do you agree?

When kids hang out, are we curious enough about their technology? For the sake of innocence, and guarded for their path, we have to be. What do they see? What do they share? What fills their minds? And how is it affecting them?

A parent can never fully retrace their child’s experience online. It’s just not really possible.

We all know, there’s so much to consider when it comes to social media and screens. Cyberbullying, social media pranks or dares, explicit sexual content, fake identity, pressure to participate, “nudes” (as kids are calling them), etc. — Morale is challenged at every turn, and it’s taking a toll on us, on our kids, and their friends.

With just one click, people are forever changed by these little devices. And it’s happening daily.

So what do we do?

I don’t want to go ‘there’ without some kind of resolution.

Do you?

We have to communicate as parents…carefully and honestly. This is a new role for me, and maybe for you too. These are some ideas to think about, and I wonder if you agree. (Also, I’m just beginning to try these things out & know it’s not going to be easy!)

6 Considerations When Talking with Other Parents |Kids & Technology

Boundaries~ Decide and communicate them as a family, before expecting anything somewhere else.

Respect~ Without concern for one another, a conversation about the kids and devices is a lost cause. If a parent doesn’t show care for another’s values, maybe the kids should keep some distance. It’s not that everyone has to agree, but there should be respect for each other’s boundaries.

Clear Communication about Expectations ~ This is the tricky one. I mean, it really calls us out of the comfort zone. And personally, I have a lot of growing to do here. If our kids share technology with someone else’s, there has to be an exchange between parents about the details. (Agh, it’s even hard to say that out loud. This isn’t something anyone really does, at least not in my circle.) Here are some things we should agree on~

Movie Ratings
Internet Access
YouTube Viewing
Social Media Availability
Location of Screens in the Home
Time limits or Restraints (esp. at a sleepover)
TV Accessibility
Video Game Approval
Ability to Download or Delete Apps
The Possibility of Removing Technology Altogether for the Event

Sacrifice for Differences ~ There will be differences. There might be a few, or there might be a lot, but families rarely share exact standards. And if we agree to let our kids hang out with someone else’s, everyone has to feel comfortable. It might take some sacrifice (for our kids and for us).

Accountability Assurance~ After expectations are spoken, what kind of monitoring will take place? How will I keep an eye on all of this in my home, and how will they…in theirs.

Trust or Distance ~ If we’ve come this far, and still don’t trust a situation for our child (children), distance might be needed. How very difficult this is, we need confidence for their protection.In this season, we’re stunned by the need to speak up. It is so.not.easy. Would you add anything to add to this list?

Join the Conversation~Together We Thrive!

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