digital health – We Thrive Online

What is privacy worth today?

“It listens to me anyway. And Alexa.”

We laugh.

“Big Brother knows everything,

Haha”

We don’t think twice anymore, most of us, am I right? I’ve noticed the change in my own life.

Yet we put so much out there. Information, intimate moments, images we can’t take back. Emotions too.

Social media distracts us, and we lose concern (dare we admit). Sometimes it’s a risk. Likes and followers = validation, and people do almost anything for approval. A desire for flawless performance, or at least the image.

We want to say it’s the younger generation, but it’s all of us. And for teens, this is just what they know. It’s how growing up is.

But achieving a likable image is more complicated than it sounds. Have you noticed, there’s growing pressure to be “sex positive” today, and to post it? Accepting, celebrating, and expressing sexual diversity is becoming expected. Boundaries & morality, looked down on. A post with sex appeal draws the larger crowd.

It’s disheartening, right?

We aren’t gaining from all of this. Have you noticed, so much focus on desire is stirring confusion, and pain.

Boundaries protect us, and morale creates trust. With blurred lines, we struggle to connect, and live insecurely. A demise to everything we crave.

‘Listen to your gut’ they say. But even when something doesn’t feel right, too often we hardly know why. Internal compass can be tricky with social media. And it starts early.

I partnered up with Andy from The Secure Dad on this topic for parents. He shares here about a parent’s role. “While I had taught him to look both ways before crossing the street…I never thought to share with my young son that it isn’t okay to take a picture without your clothes on.” Can you relate?

As “mommy”, I used to read articles like “What your 9-year old should know before puberty” and “How to prepare for a teenager.” Now, just few years later, I’m reading articles like “What every high schooler needs” and “Things your teenager wants you to know.” (my heart…it’s going so fast!)

Five years ago, I don’t recall conversations about “nudes” on the parenting checklists. (naked images, traded for likes on screens.) But today, it’s a key conversation for health and well-being. (agh, right?)

There are kids, never having even kissed someone, giving away total privacy with little thought. Respect for one another’s bodies isn’t common anymore. Or modesty. And there’s consequence. Emotional, psychological, physiological.

What’s the solution?

Maybe it starts with a little more conversation.

Let’s talk about this, all of us. As people who share digital community, this is on everyone’s radar.

Let’s empower one another with kindness, support each other with reason, and choose a heart for what matters.

I did some research, and here are some things to consider when we post. I think each one is a conversation of its own. What do you think? Do you have more ideas to add?

Together We Thrive⭐️

13 Conversations | Photos and Privacy

Pedophilia, Creepers, and People Who Want to Hurt Others There are ill-intended people searching for content online. And when you share digitally, whatever it is, could end up in the wrong hands.

Blackmail, Revenge, and Threat People can use your photos against you. And for years to come. Trafficking and blackmail often begin online.

Facial Recognition and Forever Permanence Photos and screenshots, of anything, are immortal. Facial recognition and modern innovation make tracking a cinch. You can’t really disown what you put out there.

TMI for Mom, Dad, Grandma Grandpa, Employers, Colleges, and Career Pursuit Imagine anything you post, or text, or take a photo of, might one day end up on a billboard or in a magazine, maybe your mailbox. Anyone could one day view anything you capture.

Legal Consequences, Criminal Charges, Sexual Assault, or CPS involvement There’s actually a lot of legal responsibility with the possession of nudes. And there can easily be a lawsuit for sexual harassment these days. Also, what if you become president one day?;) Honestly though, there can be serious criminal charges with digital sharing.

Guilt, shame, and natural regret You were made to value intimacy, and desire relationship. Feelings of shame and regret are a natural response with too much sharing. This is why depression rates and anxiety are on the rise. Digital identity is a huge topic with mental health today.

A roadblock for Intimacy with the Love of Your Life One day, if not today, you may fall in love. And the past can stir up struggle with this, especially if it’s visually kept.

Endless Sharing, and Limitless Views Even if it’s not someone you know, you have zero control of who views the images and text you post. You do not own the pixelated past.

Bullying and Slut Shaming People can be mean. I hate it. You hate it. So don’t give them an open door to your heart.

With minors, nudes are considered child pornography It’s that whole legal thing again. But had to mention, specifically, for minors.

Negative Reputation and Loss of Relationships Some people will withdraw from others who post inappropriately. Also, some people will spread rumors. People know you by what you do, and what you say. Losing friends is a risk.

Pornography Addiction and Loss of Sexual Ability Images can be addicting. And pornography has physiological impact. If you have never heard that, please read about the science behind it.

Seared Conscience Finally, brain function is altered by what we do, and how we focus our time. Two verses speak clearly on this.

1 Corinthians 6:18 “Run away from sexual immorality. Every other sin that a person does is outside the body. But those who are sexually immoral sin against their own bodies.”

1 Timothy 4:2b ‘Men who cannot see what is right and what is wrong. It is as if their understanding were destroyed by a hot iron.’

So much information, I know. But hope this post meets you in a positive way.

Til next time, Together We Thrive~

Ayme

“Be intentional.” — What does that mean anyway? Purposeful, deliberate, pre-meditated, — they’re interchangeable. Sounds ideal, but how does it play out with technology?

“Intention” is basically a fancy way of saying, “think about what you’re doing.” Like, ‘stop wasting time’, and ‘don’t do something you’re going to regret’. There are a lot of other cliche’ phrases that come to mind. But I don’t want this one to lose meaning. I don’t want overuse to dilute it.

My previous post highlighted the receiving end of un-friending, a familiar experience that comes with social media. It showed howpowerful virtual acceptance (and rejection) can be, and how it affects our emotions. Sense of connection persuades overall health and is one of our basic needs. So we need to think this through. – How can we do ‘virtuality’ well, you know, and stay on track?

It seems logical to compare digital efforts with physical fitness. Both require focus, effort, strategy, and consistency. We wonder, “is there a universal plan for diet and exercise?” And the obvious answer is, “of course not.” In the same, we can’t expect to have one for technology either. Digital health is unique and individual; it depends on each person’s experiences and needs. Social media has different effects on all of us, and we need to realize our own limitations and indulgences with it.

While a one-size-fits-all plan does not exist, there are definitely common areas for each of us to consider when it comes to this stuff. Take Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs as a starting point. Thinking about how social media relates to these basics is really helpful.

Social Media | Human Needs

Physiological (basic survival needs, just to stay alive)

Do we “need” social media for survival? No, but the effects that come with it definitely play a role here. Emotional impact can confuse sleep & hunger patterns, mental stability, and stress levels, etc. Social media can have a powerful influence with everyday function.

On another thought, we need survival skills for social media. Yes!

Safety (a sense of security)

This is probably the most popular concern that people talk about with social media. From mal-intended chatting to pornography addiction and identity theft, the list just grows. Safety awareness is on the rise.

You’ve probably heard a range of stories, like ones of people who’ve posted vacation photos, only to come home and find they have been robbed. That’s pretty crazy. And then the more serious examples of car wrecks and such, we hear about them a lot. Geotagging and location services call for some thought too. — I mean, why do we find ourselves posting personal whereabouts to hundreds of people? We need some caution here.

Let’s break it down even more, think about everyday posts. Details aren’t usually at the forefront of our posts, but they matter. Our sense of security is a huge consideration with social media. Privacy settings are there for a reason. ~

One last thought about security. Internally, I wonder how much of our self-worth (self-confidence and self-care) depends upon digital connection. Food for thought.

Love / Belonging (friendship, trust, and relationship)

This right here. It’s the heart of our conversation. We don’t talk about this much with other people. Yet, it all centers here. No matter what reason we use social media (business, personal, etc.) or to what extent, here are a few questions to self about digital relationships.

How am I contributing toward relationship with others, and what am I gaining? What level of vulnerability is acceptable for me? How authentic am I being with others? How much and what kind of sharing is appropriate? Do I have healthy boundaries with how I define relationship status with others?

Self-Esteem (status and attention; sense of accomplishment)

Social media can really build us up here, especially if we have a large following. Public posting of accomplishments and photos with bragging rights are all over this. But what if we don’t desire a huge following? Or what if we want one, but can’t grow it?

Self-Actualization (achieving full potential; meeting personal goals; success with hobbies and interests)

Individuality (identity) is the focus with most things digital. It’s literally a “my world, my way” mode. But we don’t always realize it. It begins small, with a simple device, — first color and design preference, then the apps and the settings, etc. And however deliberate, we ultimately define the boundaries, or lack thereof, by which to live. We literally say “yes I approve” or “no I don’t” with every download, deciding what is acceptable, and what is not, for our own standards. In the process of managing preferences, it’s easy to tune out differences of others around us. We can totally lose touch with reality if we aren’t careful. Even with the best motive, we can grow to idolize the image of digital identity.

The pinnacle thought here is this. Does social media encourage me to grow into full potential? & Is my self-actualization based on reality?

I have 3 kids of my own and a class full on weekdays. This is a huge topic for them. (These ideas are challenging in the middle of adolescence.) Please subscribe to receive the next post {Part 3: Youth and Social Media}.

Thanks for joining me here.I hope you are encouraged by these posts.~

Feel free to comment below. I’d love to hear your thoughts!

~Ayme